Hash Trash: Dearest dimwits,
Putin is ready to give you a wrap-up of this great double-Pagan, Pre-Christmas, rainy, butthole-blowout weekend.
After a soggy “Solstice” hash on Friday, a few of us were enticed enough to attend a Full Moon-ish hash whereas others were lured there with promises of “hot drinks and cold, shitty weather” only to be disappointed by our Squeakiest of hares.
Let us begin in the hamlet of Hohenecken alongside the road. First complaint… We all found the On-start waaaaaaay too easily, quite to the contrary of our Grand Vizier, TP’s, previous day’s trail. Second complaint of which there was much murmurming, wailing and gnashing of teeth…the trail was relatively dry and warm. We overly-prepared hashers were guaranteed “…cold, shitty weather,” and were denied said horrific meteorological conditions and were thus forced to endure a trail soaked in our own sweat [unacceptable] or lugging around our extra layers. SHAME!!! SHAME!!!
Despite all of our cumplaints, we all somehow managed to enjoy ourselves by *unning at a medium pace or strolling whilst basking in the unseasonably warm conditions. Note: thanks to whoever copulated with all of the capricious little buggers.
Saturday’s pack was forced to endure a few, nay, several chechbacks and were therefore suspicious of every offshoot trail. That’s no way to *un a trail, doubting our hosts constantly! Luckily, we pereservered and were rewarded with hot gluhwein on a warm day. At this point, it behooves me to call out 4 Bros for doing the laziest “cursory search” for the beverage at this stop. He completely missed it and rocketed on ahead and we didn’t see him until the next BN. Conversely, I must give props to our newest Just, Lawrence Dwyer, for so expertly stumbling upon the beverage and therefore enabling the pack’s further spiral into inebriation. Well done, young hasher!
Still thirsty for beer, we steamed ahead, scared some old ladies and a smokin’ hot brunette at the bahnhof station and were satisfied in finding 10-ish bottles of our favorite local craft brew, Bitburger, waiting for us, along with our hares, at a local bus stop. We laughed, we rejoiced, we binged on booze and commiserated with one another. about the dearth of liquid precipitation.
Trail end was but 400-500 meters up the road and after we all achieved our end goal for the day, we were greeted by wet stuff falling from the sky, from which we retreated under a bus pavilion. End circle was relatively uneventul with the exception of Biscit Bitch dropping an F-bomb so that he might regale us with a sampling of awesome Hashmas carols that we’ll experience at the next trail.
The lot of us adjourned to a local hash house where we were delighted by cuisine of the subcontinent. We continued to delight one another with witty banter, nipple slips, ass grabs, tequila shots and eskimo kisses.
Ultimately, I’m so happy that we have a week until the next trail because like they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. In other words, I’m sick of you *uckin’ *ucks! Rest up for next trail and maybe I’ll see y’all at DP this week.
Putin My Sister
WHAT: Come out to this months full moon trail!! As the trail will be on Saturday we can start at the normal Sembach time (1400) and just run around in this awesome weather till the full moon comes out!
WHERE: We will meet in the parking lot on the south side of Hohenecken, next to the bus stop. See address above.
BRING: thirst for beer, warm clothes, virgins, 5€ hash cash, some more layers of clothing and flesh lights (just in case!)
PICTURED: What Hohenecken looks like when we’re not up to our tits in fog (we will be)