Who: Better Laid and But His Nut

What: Anal Easter Beer Hunt

When: Saturday, 20th of April, 4pm/1600

Where: ALDI SÜD, Danziger Straße 22 in 67683 Weilerbach

The start will be in the back of the parking lot. There will be beer and a nice long trail!

Bring a bag or a basket or a backpack or something to carry all your loot home afterwards!!!

Hares: Better Laid and But His Nut

Who: Ausfahrt and Tainted Love

What: Sembach Full Moon of Taints Trail

When: Friday 19th of April, 7pm/1900

Where: Schafmühle, 67734 Katzweiler

Cum join Ausfahrt and Tainted Love in Katzweiler for this Sembach Full Moon trail of ass farting love for taints!

I know a lot of you wanks have missed our fellow Sembacher, Tainted Love. He’s been running around in the Shiggy swamps of Carolina Trash H3 for the last few months. So, cum show your love for taints as this will be your opportunity to hang out with your taints out in the big ass pale moon light!

Bring your head (who said head?) lamps, glow sticks, raver lights, whatever, just put them on your body somewhere. Always bring your thirst for beer, cum, or whatever else you choose to imbibe. Bring condoms in case you want to take advantage of the evening romantic stroll under the full moon of taints.

Always wear your Shiggy socks!! Probably need to wear Shiggy shoes too.

Dog friendly if they are okay seeing a lot of horses.

There’s parking to the left just before the on start.
Putin/Missionary- park at the on-start. Yes there’s room.

This is Good Friday too so there will be a chance to sing hallelujah to the moon and rejoice together with beer on this trail.

When: Saturday, 6th of April, 4pm (16:00)

Where: 49°25’17.4″N 7°31’54.2″E
Unnamed Road, 66877 Ramstein-Miesenbach

Hey half-minds, harriettes, back sliders, and fair weather hashers!!! Cum out and play this Saturday! Trail will be behind the CTS compound!

Somebody sacrifice a goat so this nice weather holds out!

This will be the last trail I hare with Sembach (but not quite my fuck off…I don’t leave till May!)

Wanted to do a trail In one of my most favorite spots for you wanks!!!

Free Beer for all the Hashers!! (JK, still gotta pay hash cash…)

ON-ON! HPatGC

What – the April Fools Day Hash

Directions – go past the address and turn left on Miesenbacher . Look for parking by Kindergarten playground.
When – 1 April and Hares away at 1915, for reals!!
Why – cuz April 1st is for Fools like us.
Bring your sense of humor, a thirst for beverages and your desire for fun.

Brought to you by Squeaky Queen and Takes .

Hash Trash: Please allow me to give you a brief (read: long-winded) synopsis of this Lego My Mom’s Saturday trail in this week’s addition of HASH TRASH. Don’t ast like you don’t want it. You know you do!

Let us commence this quick blurb by calling out the RA. Man Hoarder failed to accomplish her pre-trail task in every way, shape, & form. Can we please get this young “lady” a goat (live or dead) so as to avoid such tempestuous metoerological conditions in the future.

Let’s continue by giving a huge thumbs up to our bier meister for the day, Missionary Impossible. She very expertly packed just the right amount of zymatic refreshment with a mix of wine and Chu-Hi’s. She is hereby commended. I’m in no way biased in my praising of her. She’ll be complimented again later.

I should’ve mentioned earlier that we had a vast cornucopia of visitors from a plethora of places. We had visitors from Vicenza Derelicts (1), Frankfurt H3(5), Amsterdam H3 (2) and one all the way from Tallahassee H3, Mississippi. Tons of fun was had. I love being invaded by strangers. <>

Sure visitors are nice but we also had a VIRGIN!!! Just Trevor was nice enough to lead the way like only a crayon-eater can do. He left his sponsor, Just Alexis, in the dust a wee bit but, be not dismayed, we kept him out of trouble as he steamed forward unabated. He paid for his racist crimes in circle but is not totally absolved, for he’ll be cursed with the FRB vest next trail.

For those of you who weren’t with us on Lego’s trail, it was awesome. I know I alluded to it earlier but he, Lego, did a bang-up job laying both a walker and runner trail (10lbs of flour!) and was even nice enough to leave us massive amounts of beverages along the way. It may have been a bit breezy (understatement) and a bit chilly at times but the trail was laid expertly by a phenomenal hare through a lovely area on the southwestern periphery of Rheinland-Pfalz. Great Gispert saw to it that we halfminds were in good hands.

During end circle there was a bevy of shenanigans but I’ll only mention one as I am attempting to keep my descriptions brief. Sembach finally abducted our favorite harriette from Vicenza Derelicts H3, Roofies Taste Like Almonds. She took our flour pounding like a champ. I didn’t see any photos of this particular ceremony but I’ll tell you that she was in rare form and we are all better people for haing seen it. I’m sure I’ll replay it in my head, in private, at least a few times in the near future. 😉

After trail, many of us headed over to a magical little bistro in Bechhofen where we dined on surprisingly amazing pizza and scrumptious doner. It was there that we celebrated Ausfahrt’s upcoming nascency celebration which took place in the 80’s. We were fortunate enough to be spoiled, by Missionary Impossible, with a carrot cake of epic superness. Some of you totally missed out. Fuck trail. Y’all missed carrot cake!!!

As always, our trail was filled with mirth, joy, laughter and then exodus. We gathered, we comiserated, we bonded and we buggered off in all directions. It is my wish that I am so privileged to gaze upon your beautiful (or ghastly) visage at the next trail which just so happens to be on Saturday, 16 March. Additionally, it’s the Anal Green Dress *un hosted by the lovely (albeit dwarfish) Nymphtendo. Find your green dress, figure out how you’re gonna cum to trail (and then get home), drag your backsliding buddy out the door and meet us at the circle. I’ll be happy to see you there. Many libation will be imbibed.

OnOn to Green Dress!

Ever so humbly,
Putin My Sister

Who: Lego My Mom

What: Sembach Saturday Trail #1034

When: Saturday, 9th of March, 14:00, 2pm

Where: Turn- und Sportverein Bechhofen, Am Sportplatz 1, 66894 Bechhofen, Rheinland-Pfalz, Germany

Bring: Bring a sense of humor and low expectations. I’m going to be scouting trail on the 10th of March. I would always recommend shiggy socks and a burning thirst for liquids. Leave your sense of humor at home and bring your compasses. This weekend, everyone’s a butterbar on their first land nav.

Trail should be easy to get lost on. A – A, unless it’s not. I’ll know on the 10th, when I finish scouting. If you get lost, turn around and go back to where you came from. If you see your mom, you’ve gone too far, but give her a hug anyway, you scamp.