# 1 - Sunday July 18, 1999 5:00 p.m.- "Baby Steps"
Vogelweh Shoppette
Hares: .Cum & Snatchwatch

The first running of the Sembach Hash House Harriers looked more like a Biloxi Provisional hash than anything else. Four former Biloxi hashers and a virgin made up the pack that day. Those in attendance were Yeasty Boy, Spawn of Satan, just "Nancy", and the two hares: .Cum and Snatchwatch (who, by the way, didn't take part in any holy hash beer.)
This trail had the potential to be one of the greatest of all time. That is, if the hares had actually scouted it first. This may explain why the pack got lost and SnatchWatch got caught shortly into the trail. SnatchWatch was laying a BT while I went off-road to lay True Trail. Upon coming back to the road to link up (and throw down an intersection) what did I find? Well I didn't find SnatchWatch, but I did find the trail that he laid. I followed it about 20 yds. to a CB. Hey wait!! What the hell is that doing there.
Well, I followed it back to appropriate mark and didn't find the True Trail, so I kept on laying my own. That was the beginning of the end. I heard hashers down the road so I took off laying a trail to the On-In. After waiting at the On-In for over a half-hour, I finally saw the pack. Too bad they were following the trail backwards.
It seems that they lost the trail and ended up going in big circles (oops!). Besides some irritation from stinging nettles (quit whining Spawn!) everyone made it back including SnatchWatch (who had been caught and hashed back with the rest of the pack.)
It was a pretty good On-In. The hares paid for their crimes, especially SnatchWatch who received the ceremonial flouring for being caught. The virgin just "Nancy" was honored with a down-down. No awards were given since we didn't have any. But we did have beer, and thats all we really needed.
Not the best hash ever, but not bad for 5 hashers.

Saturday August 31, 1999 5:00 p.m.
Snake Hill Rd & access road to Sembach AB
Hares: Yeasty Boy & .Cum

The second running of the Sembach Hash House Harriers tied the all time attendance record. Beside the usual suspects (Yeasty Boy, .Cum, and Spawn of Satan), we had Hercum 10, another former Biloxi hasher, and Ebonic Pfelcher, a former Osan Bulgogi hasher.
The trail started out with a leisurely stroll through the village of Sembach (much to the chagrin of the inhabitants). This part of the trail played an important role in the hash for Yeasty Boy because he ended up seeing it twice. I (.Cum) was waiting on trail for my co-hare to catch up and was starting to get worried that I might later become a pancake. A few moments later Yeasty Boy ran out of the village and through huffs and puffs told me that he had lost his military I.D. on trail. So he went back to look for it and I continued on trail.
Over hill and dale I scampered until I finally came up to the access road to Sembach. With the On-In in sight I started up the road. A few moments later a car pulls over in front of me and a man with a tie on (and the rest of his clothes) gets out. I think " oh great, someone thinks I'm littering and wants to give me a piece of their mind". As I run up to the car the guy asks, "Are you hashing?" I told him I was and found out that he was a hasher recently arrived from Turkey. We were having a nice conversation on the side of the road about hashing when I mention we have live hares. He ask if I was haring and I said I was. In which he replied "Well you better get the hell out of here!". So I continued merrily upon my way to the On-In.
It was quite a while before Yeasty Boy came in from town (with no I.D.) finally Ebonic Pfelcher came in followed by Spawn of Satan and Her-A-Cum 10. It's seems that the pack had a little difficulty on trail. First of all the 'dale' was full of stinging nettle (nice one Yeasty Boy). And the 'hill' ended up being two hills. The first one was up a hill (a nice steep hill) to......... a checkback! Back down the hill to the dale to find that the true trail was..... up another hill (even steeper!) The problem was that the true trail was too hard to find in the dark, scary woods (nice one .Cum) but the pack eventually stumbled upon it and made it to the on in.
At the on-in two valuable lessons were learned. Her-A-Cum 10 had a special surprise. She had found Yeasty Boys I.D. card so to get it back, of course, he got to do a down-down. Yeasty Boy learned that your pocket is not a good place to put your I.D. when hashing, and Spawn of Satan learned that if the hares have sweats on that you might get scratches on your legs.

Saturday September 4, 1999 5:00 p.m.
Eurospar parking lot, Enkenbach-Alsenborn
Hare: .Cum

A new hash attendance record (9)!
A beautiful, winding trail through some of Enkenbachs most scenic trails. A couple of devious check backs (since I was the lone hare). Wish I could tell you more but I wasn't on trail. Nobody got too lost, and I finished about 10 minutes ahead of the pack. Great On-In at our hash (I'm sure we pissed the neighbors off...oh well.)

Saturday September 25, 1999 approx 5:00 p.m.
North Side gym, Ramstein Air Base
Hares: Yeasty Boy and Spawn of Satan

Pretty nice day for hashing. Great turn out and even a couple of visitors from Heidelberg (thanks for coming 3Holer and Oral Support). We started out from the gym in search of hares. The trail led down to the main road at Ramstein leading us past AIRCENT Hq. We were a little lost but someone picked up trail on the backside of the shoppette. A stretch of wood followed and out we poured into base housing (much to the displeasure of the inhabitants).
This is where we ran into the first problem- an intersection. Well the intersection wasn't the problem. If you went left, you ran into another intersection, but if you went straight you hit a true trail. Bad hares!!! Through housing we went, occasionally encountering children who would tell us where the 'other people' went. Of course, the little bastards lied to us and we went a ways down an unmarked trail (o.k., so it wasn't a trail.) Also, we hit a checkback, that went back through a true trail, and was the wrong number anyway!! Stupid, Evil Hares. Around the school we went and into the woods.
In the woods the hares had laid a beer stop. The only problem was that you had to cross a scenic, babbling stream (otherwise known as a sewage ditch). Being the crafty harrier I am I recognized that the Hares would probably come back out of the woods on the road again, and so I bypassed the ditch. Unfortunately, some newer hashers didn't and ended up getting mud (shit) and slime (diarrhea and piss) on their shoes. But at least they got beer (or what was left of it). Up passed the Burger King and back into the woods we went, only to end up crossing the main avenue back into the woods for the On-In.
 A couple of interesting stories were born on this trail. It seems that a newly arrived couple to Germany heard the sounds of hashing from their billeting room and followed the trail to the On-In. We welcomed our newest addition to the SH3 pack: Teacher's Pet and Oral Instructor, all the way from Offutt AFB in Nebraska. Also, being a visitor, Oral Support (from H4) didn't realize that we were on an 'A' to 'B' hash. She was undergoing some physical discomfort (obviously from lack of beer stops). So she decided that it would be best to go back to the start (thinking it was an 'A' to 'A' hash.) She ended up getting a ride back to the On-In from one of the hares which made her an Autohashing AEC (Ass End Charlie). The funny thing was that she was right around the corner from the On-In went she turned around. But she was a good sport about it.
The On-In was great, Yeasty even had to go get more beer. We all enjoyed the fine weather, because it was to be the last for quite a while.

Saturday October 9, 1999 1:00 p.m. "Brown Bag Hash"
Vogelweh Shoppette
Hares: Yeasty Boy and .Cum

It was a cold and windy day- just the right weather for a brown bag hash. If your not familiar with a brown bag hash, it's a hash where everyone brings an article of lingerie or some other housewear in a brown bag. The bags are piled up before the start and distributed randomly to the pack. What you get is what you wear- on the outside of your clothing. I must say that Just 'Pat' was resplendent in his floral robe. It brought a tear to your seeing it fluttering in the wind (but only because you laughing so hard.)
We were back at the site of the SH3 inaugural hash to see if we could get it right this time. Yeasty and myself started out the trail by going up towards Pulaski Barracks , and ducking into the woods. This trail had a lot of good shiggy on it. If you ever walk around Pulaski Barracks in the woods you would know that the rod & gun club is on the south side. There are nice big signs in the woods that say something about guns, shooting, and entering at your own risk. But who's got time to stop and read that stuff when your haring. So past the signs and through the woods we went.
Yeasty and I were setting up an intersection and we had a slight breakdown in communication. Yeasty was supposed to be doing a bad trail and myself the true trail. What we ended up with was two true trails! Well, it didn't matter because both trials ended up in the same place. What better place to take a pack dressed in various pieces of lingerie than.....the McDonalds drive-thru. What a nice way to let the local community see what hashing is all about (especially since the place was packed). A few members of the pack were upset that even though we went through the drive-thru and playground, we didn't take the trail down the slide. Well, maybe next time.
Back into the woods next to B40 we went. Yeasty Boy went ahead to setup a check back and I went south towards Pulaski Barracks and then east to the shoppette on true trail. While laying hash for the check back what should Yeasty see? The fluttering pink floral robe of Just 'Pat' on his ass. Being a crafty and quick thinking hare (and Just 'Pat' being a relatively new hasher) Yeasty turns around and say 'Trails back the other way'. So taking his advice to heart Just 'Pat' scoots off back down the trail, and Yeasty avoids the ritual flouring of the caught hare.
The On-In was great. Lot of beer and munchies consumed. Violators who didn't bring their brown bag were punished. Spawn of Satan was the FRB and Just 'Buffy' was the AEC.
Pretty good hash. Much better than the last Vogelweh hash.

Saturday October 23, 1999 1:00 p.m. "Bitch Hash"
Enkenbach Sportsplatz
Harriettes: Oral Instructor, Her-A-Cum 10, and Spawn of Satan

Wasn't this ironic? All the females present for the hash, were all hares. That left Teacher's Pet, .Cum, Just 'Pat', and Just 'Ryan' as harriers. The harriettes were blessed and off they went. Just like women, the trail was screwed up from the get-go. The first intersection had two true trails off of it due to some crossed wires with the harriette planning commission. Unfortunately, Teacher's Pet and myself (.Cum) took the long way. We ended up in the wood just outside the west side of town, and about 15 minutes into the trail (after having a couple of problems with finding it in the first place) we ran into the beer stop.
I still have nightmares about this beer stop. Being a 'Bitch' hash, the beer stop had girlie drinks at it. These included wine coolers with nefarious flavors and cola-beer (the only thing that doesn't go well with beer-- or so I thought till the On-In). One of the demands the harriettes made before the start of the hash was that we had to finish all the drinks at the beer stop before moving on. The bad part was that the harriettes had planned for a pack of 12-15 people, and there were only 4 of us! After spending about 25 minutes at the beer stop choking down these various products we hit the trail (none to steady) with the taste of orange juice after brushing your teeth in our mouths. We worked our way around trail back to a picnic area at the sportsplatz for the On-In.
I thought that cola-beer was an abomination until I discovered the kind of beer Spawn and I bought for the On-In. Let's start by saying our German isn't too good. When we were buying beer we thought 'Radner' was a different type of beer- like pils or weizen. We found out the hard way though that 'radner' means 'lemon'. So half of our beer supply was lemon beer (which tasted like alcoholic Pledge). Suffice it to say, we had a great beer for the violators.
The harriettes had decorated (just like a woman) the On-In with Barbie balloons, and Barbie cups. The harriettes were honored for a pretty good trail (for women). Just 'Ryan' (who was sick as a dog) was AEC and I (.Cum) was the FRB. I also got the new Hash Shit for stepping on shit at the beer stop.
After the On-In we all went back to the .Cum/Spawn of Satan residence for more drinking, a great bar-b-que, and waited for the sun to go down so we could start the Full Moon Hash.

Saturday October 23, 1999 7:00 p.m. "Full Moon Hash"
.Cum & Spawn of Satan's Place, Enkenbach
Hare: .Cum

Saturday November 6, 1999 7:00 p.m.
Ram H3 hosted
Imsbach

Friday November 12, 1999 7:00 p.m. "911"
Sembach AB, Community Bank Parking lot
Hares: .Cum and Just 'Ryan

Saturday November 20, 1999 1:00 p.m.
Landstuhl Castle
Hare: Teachers's Pet

Saturday December 4, 1999 1:00 p.m.
Winnweiler Bahnhof, Winnweiler
Hares: Daddy Touched Me and Yeasty Boy

A fine location that DTM selected for this cold and blustery hash. For his first haring, he did great credit to the haring tradition by arranging a scenic beer stop along the trail.
Trail started in the parking lot by the bann station in Winweiller with a 1:1 hares-to-hounds ratio. DTM and YB wound through parts of Winweiller, trekked through the woods and hills around the town, back by the Bishoff brewery, then back into the country. The brewery was quite a pleasant distraction, wetting appetites for libation; whereby it was time to rest and partake in the purpose for hashing.
The pack outsmarted the hares--avoiding the evil bad trails up stairs and paths that Daddy was fond of laying. But Willy Come Home did show common hound confusion as he went in all but the right direction at an intersection with markings in only one direction. This regrouped the pack just prior to the beer stop. The beer stop was under a grove of trees along a hillside. There, was a door leading into an old storage cellar that grandpa bishoff used to store casks of beer! A true historical site.
After languishing around the Gispert temple of old, sipping a couple brews, hare1 and hare2 left a few cans for the pack and then trailed onto the on-in about another 1/4 to 1/2 mile and awaited the fast pursuing hounds.
Both hounds crested the hill leading to the on-in sipping on the remainder of the beer stop. Willy Come Home led the pack and was the FRB with Her A Cum10 sweeping the trail as AEC.
Down-Downs commenced with honors and awards. Willy Come Home was awarded skull-attire for his tenth hash. Numerous violations (for such a small group) were honored throughout.
Again, a fine trail and a definite future trail area.

yeasty
 

Saturday December 18, 1999 1:00 p.m.
Gelterswoog
Hares: Daddy Touched Me and Yeasty Boy

Wednesday December 22, 1999 5:00 p.m.
Pagan Winter Solstice Full Moon Hash
Pennymart, Enkenbach
Hares: .Cum and Spawn of Satan