Well it’s about time we get some hash trash, and so I have been elected to bring you the reports of the happenings of the previous hash as it happened (or how I perceived it!) So here it goes: 

In - and - Out Hash-a-Thon #119,120,121,122,123 (that’s a lot of hash!) weekend extravaganza!!! 

Where do I begin!  After hundreds of emails and extensive planning by everyone in mis-management, the weekend came together like oil and water!!  The camping weekend turned out to be a stay in a hotel, mind you it had a bowling alley and a sauna equipped with naked 80’s chicks!!  We all met in Bostalsee on Saturday morning for a fun filled day of sun, fun, drinking, eating, debauchery, drinking, and oh yea, 3 hashes!!!  The first was hared by old mis-management Teacher’s Pet (GM), Her-a-Cum-10 (RA), and 2Bitslit (RA) (he showed up!).  So after giving plenty of time for stragglers to show up and hashers alike to get in their fair share of liquid energy and saying their hellos, the opening circle began.  Porkchop brought the only virgins, just Josh and Orus (great name).  I think there was others, so here’s my apology, get over it.  The hares laid a beautiful trail including 2 beer stops, 1 was missed by the pack, and a shot stop, which was stolen by vagrant Germans.  Much shiggy was run thru along with briars and the crossing of streams.  The pack came across several intersections, naughty and song checks, and even a rope swing check.  The trail eventually led to the on-in.  The Chinese Fire Drill (introduced by yours truly at Dutch Nash Hash) interrupted the circle many times throughout the day.  What a great way to disrupt a circle!!  Down-downs included and in no particular order:

-The hares (of course)

-The virgins (no bunnies were taken)

-F.R.B and A.E.C.

-Visitors (we had 3)

-Spawn of Satan and .Cum for cooking/watching the beer

-Freudian Snatch, Just Cat, and Just Paul for missing trail

-Lost property

-And many more I can’t remember!!

A quick Swing Low was done and the next trail started.

The second trail for the day was hared by 7 Year Itch and Bumper Humper.  A great short trail was laid with the exception of no beer stops! But we did get some nice scenery of topless women!!  The trail took us thru the virgin forest.  On-In was back at camp where another circle commenced.  Typical violations were given down-downs including: 

-The hares

-F.R.B. and A.E.C.

-Freudian Snatch, Just Diana, and Catcher in the Thigh for lost property

-Windows NT for his impression as the hash homo at Dutch Nash Hash

-.Cum for his 69 hash!!!  Get a life!!

-A big down-down was given to Pierced it and I will Cum, C.L.A.U.S., and Whiskey 3 for being our new mis-management and taken over the duties that are bestowed upon them. 

I didn’t go on the 3^rd trail, I decided to sit back and consume golden nectar while chatting up a conversation with the rest of the lazy hashers.  From what I saw, it was a quick trail and before I finished a beer, the pack was back!!!  The new mis-mamagement ran their first circle and let me just say that they did an excellent job!!  They dished out the down-downs as followed:

-Of course the Hares!!

-Spawn of Satan for her 69^th hash. Get a life, too!!

-Deserving hashers with forever be known as:

  Just Nancy – Cock Stalker

  Just Allison – No Strings Attached

  Just Darrell – FATE (fucks all the elves)

  Just Jason – The Other White Meat

  Just Billy – Who’s your Crawdaddy?

  Just Christa – Big Gulp

  Just Diana – Thigh Master

 And Just the dog Harley – Good Will Humping

The rest of the day was spent drinking, who would’ve thought, and playing hash Olympics.  Games were organized by Spawn of Satan and .Cum.  Games like boat races and something about running around someone and running back to the line were had.  The rest of the day was spent playing games, lounging about, and watching our harriettes frolic around naked in their g-string.  Great day, the weather was beautiful, minus the sunburns, and everything came to a close until Sunday.

  Sunday came early at the hotel with a great breakfast and coffee!!!  There was talk of a naked hash the night before, but I was too tired to partake and I heard it was a flop, no pun intended!!  Guess we’ll try another time when there are no fences and walls to get in our way!!

The trail was “set” by Spawn of Satan and .Cum.  Let me tell you, it was a great trail!!!  No flour, just follow the hares and stay on trail!!  I think the trail was .1 miles, which led us to the ON-IN under the shaddy tree.  Circle commenced with the down-downs for:

The hares- the best trail many of us have seen!!

2Bitslit- advertising his naked bottom in the Cardiff bid for Interhash 2004

FuGaWi- visitor who wasn’t acknowledged the day before

And more namings:

  Just Paul – Who The Fuck Are You?

  Just Katherine – AM/FM (all men fuck me)

  Just Scott – I blow Wee blows

There were more and you should remember who you were, I can’t.

Well, that was it.  Old Mis-management was out and the new has taken charge.  The weekend was a success, made some money, Golden Flow sold some hash crap, uh I mean haberdashery, and everyone was satisfied, even No Strings Attached!!  That’s it from me, I’ll remember more on the next hash and certainly try to do better, speaking of that, it’s on the 27 July.  Meeting at Catcher in the Thighs and he and Blue Velvet Bitch are haring.  On-after will be at Catcher’s casa.  Maybe we’ll get to see Thigh Master’s tits!!!  Come out and find out!!! 

ON OUT

-The Scribe

SH3 Run # 128 – Blue Velvet Bitch’s Revenge 

Grand Master - Pierce It & I Will Cum    Haberdasher – Pierce It & I will Cum

Religious Advisor – Pierce It & I Will Cum   HASH Cash – Pierce It & I Will Cum

Bier Meister – Just Mike (Bier Biotch)    HASH Scribe – Pierce It & I Will Cum

HASH Flash – none      Hare – Blue Velvet Bitch (BVB) 

Wow, what a hot one ! And there were 33 of us out there to swelter together. I sure love hot sweaty bodies cumming together to drink beer and take off their clothing….or swap clothing…or whatever !!

Well, we started a little late (so unusual) due to the Hare pre-laying some trail <much argument from BVB> and just because that’s who we are, a bunch of late starters.

Your GM, Pierce It, coaxed the unwitting guinea pigs into a semblance of a circle and asked everyone to introduce themselves. This way, BVB would know how much beer and water to leave on trail…and to find out who our 4 virgins were. That’s right, there were 4 slabs of fresh meat, and some were fairly ripe and well prepared (NOT) by their sponsors.

Pierce It couldn’t remember who was the FRB last HASH (and forgot the chain, but blew it off so nicely that noone cared), so we just called in Pimping Long Sucking for being the current AEC and let her get away without wearing the prize on trail, since there wasn’t a chain, and because the toilet seat is so much heavier than the chain, it just wouldn’t be fair, blah, blah, blah.

We blessed our Hare, with his promise that the trail would only be 1.5 miles long and no shiggy (sha, as if we’ve never heard that one before) and sent him lumbering on his way towards the very large group of German bikers that sat like vultures eyeing our proceedings from their distant ‘tree’.

We welcomed our virgins: Just David, Just Mickie, Just Heidi (all sponsored by Catch Her in the Thighs) and Just Kris (first female ‘virgin’ made to cum by 7-2-10 Split Her). Just Kris had to pass the Teachers Pet taste-test, so he was allowed into the circle to perform his usual baptism-of-pierced-navels ritual. Then Pierce It gave them their bunnies and the usual spiel about not letting anyone take them away from them (again, as if that ever works, duh) blah, blah, blah.

Since that was more than Pierce It can handle in one sitting, he called Horny Horn Holy Ho into the circle to lead the pack in a warm-up song of ‘Father Abraham’…during which Just Kris looked like a statue, guarding her bunny. I think she was unable to move because her ‘daisy-dukes’ were so tight that Teachers Pet said, he could see the numbers on her cell phone THRU her pants, but then again, he has that special sight that very few possess (he’s my idol).

Pierce It, after drinking some fine-ass Miller Lite, was able to continue and conducted the chalk-talk, aka trail instructions for the pack. Good thing too, because BVB (the marathon running stud he is) was using the infrequently used ‘satellite check’….at every intersection. FYI, a satellite check means the trail may not be marked up to ¼ mile from the intersection, in any direction.

We then transferred our Bier Meister paraphernalia from van to van (not for the last time) before setting out in search of our tiny and most elusive hare and the hottest trail we’ve had in quite a while. I think there was a small hill in there somewhere, a small stretch of pavement here and there and a few trees, but I couldn’t tell for sure, since I was sweating so profusely my eyes stung like I had violated the queen bee and wasn’t good enough for her. Anyway, it was so short a trail that all the boob checks, package checks, clothing swaps and song checks were quickly forgotten by the time we got back to where the bikers were patiently awaiting our return. There we saw Just Mike patiently drinking our bier, and much to our surprise, 7-2-10, Pimping, and Just Kris (the walkers) also patiently awaiting our return, totally naked….were we shocked ! Not true, they had their clothes on, it was TP-vision again that confused/excited us.

Pierce It, in his Haberdasher hat, announced that we had HASH attire, etc for sale and that it is a tradition that we must all have some form of HASH attire on our person when checked in the circle, so he spent a half hour selling shirts, bottle-openers, flags, stickers and sex (no that wasn’t me). Thank you for supporting us and attiring yourselves. We have short sleeve shirts on order and more bier mugs will be available on Thursday, to help guide you on your way thru the Full Moon HASH.

Finally we figured we should have a circle and do some down-down’s, so we did, and it was good, and there was much rejoicing….

BVB was honored for his wonderful <cough-bullsh*t> trail, which we all agreed SUCKED. Someone joined him, but who cares who it was or why.

Then we called our virgins into the circle to collect the bunnies. But someone wasn’t paying attention and suggested we have a demonstration down-down so the virgins would know what to do. So, true to form, Gay Pride Superman stepped up <cough-flamer> and executed the talk-thru and demonstration in perfect form, even going so far as to show part of the reason he got his name, by balancing the empty vessel on top of his head…..head? Who said head? And the pack sang on…….

So, back to the virgins giving it up…..uh, their bunnies, that is. Just David didn’t have his. We asked the circle if anyone knew where his wayward bunny was, and I Blow Weblos stepped up to return the lost bunny and to accept a down-down with him….unfortunately, somebody pointed out that Just David’s sponsor should join him, and so Catch Her did. Just Mickie (not in pom-pom’s), but still so fine, returned hers, Just Heidi had cum all over hers, but did return it, much to my taste-test approval and then we received Just Kris’s bunny, looking just as fresh as if it hadn’t followed the trail at all, hmmmm, could that be true?? No way, because that would be like cheating, not zenning (which is allowed).

We then moved on to the FRB, which we awarded to 7, just because she never had it before…and because she cheated and signed in first….and because she brought her first female virgin. Lot’s of firsts for her today. And we honored Just Heidi, as the AEC, even tho she swore there were others behind her, she was the last to sign in. Again, great preparation by her sponsor, Catch Her. And when one virgin drinks, they all drink, and since virgins have a sponsor, he had to drink, and when one sponsor drinks, they all drink……to infinity.

Pierce It, confused as usual, didn’t call for a whistle check or visitors, but he did threaten those HASHers who violate intentionally with CLAUS and EZ Bunny’s latest concoction of some carbonated hot coconut mixture, guaranteed to make the imbiber blow chunks in the circle, thus being grounds for another round of said nectar, and another obvious round of chunkage, continued, ad nauseum, literally. Although, I thought it was rather yummy.

We then called some of our brethren/sistren into the circle for various violations that don’t warrant repeating here.

Next came…..huh, huh, I said came. So, next we awarded skull attire to our longevity HASHers. Thankfully, Golden Flow had purchased the long overdue bells and streamers. See how that works? When he’s here, he doesn’t have the stuff, when he’s gone, we have it and get caught up on everyone who has been owed since Jesus did his 5^th HASH and got named. Anyway, the following were awarded small bells for achieving 5 HASHes with the SH3: It’s Not My Bag Baby, Who the Fuck are You?, European Whore, Dick-4-Hire and Gay Pride Superman. And Pimping Long Sucking received her medium bell for staying with us long enough to earn 15 HASHes. They are partook of a beverage with their bells in their vessels and the majority were able to keep the bell in their teeth/mouth…..Dick and Whore kept dropping their bells and putting those dirty things back in their mouths. NASTY !!

We sent them away and then called for 7-2-10 to go away so we could line up 3 male HASHers to help her receive her orange streamer, indicative of her having no life and hanging with her HASH homey’s for an amazing 30 runs. She thoroughly searched Catch Her, It’s Not My Bag Baby and CLAUS until she came (huh,huh, I said it again) up with it. I’m not positive, but I think one of the others came up too, or totally dropped trou, or something like that. Anyway, for her, what a reward !

We then sent Pierce It, Bearded Clam Eater and FATE away so we could line up 5, count’em 5 female HASHers to hide their streamers. Bearded Clam Eater and Fate found their black streamers (indicating 10 HASHes with SH3) first, helping each other the entire time to pull down the harrierettes shorts. I know it was a good view for those behind them. And us without a HASH Flash, dammit. Then, after nearly 40 days and 40 nights, Pierce It finally found his white streamer (indicating 50 HASHes with the SH3) tucked tightly into Cock Stalker’s sports bra. For future reference, there must be a small piece of the streamer showing somewhere. So that when we de-pant someone or lift their shirt we can see at least a corner of a streamer. Pierce It was so exhausted after that ordeal, he forgot to have the streamer awardees conduct a down-down, oh well….more bier for Just Mike.

We then took nominations for the HASH Shit. 7-Year-Itch nominated someone for something that was really lame, so we blew him off and nominated and very quickly voted for BVB for not enough bier on trail. So, we ‘passed the hat’ so to speak and took offerings from the pack, to which CLAUS added some of the afore mentioned ‘vomit juice’, and a lot of it, causing BVB to moan loudly (not for the first time while alone). He then assumed the position he loves so much (on his knees) feigned a drink and then bowed his head in disgrace as he realized he was not yet a grown man and could not consume the jism prepared for his punishment, so it was, as is customary for those who cannot complete their down-down, poured on his head. And there was much rejoicing, and then we ate Robin’s minstrels.

Again, since I was recovering, I don’t remember what happened after that until we moved on to announcements

Announcements included 7-2-10 soliciting (not again !) for help to move into her new apt next Sat, 24 Aug. We voted on and announced that all upcoming Full Moon HASHes will be held on the day of the actual Full Moon, not the closest Friday. Being said, Dick-4-Hire and CLAUS volunteered to hare the Full Moon this Thursday, 22 Aug, at 2000 hrs. Location soon. CLAUS informed us of the upcumming attempt to break the HASH record of the most pubs in one pub crawl (currently 28). He and W3 are planning for us to visit approx 33 pubs (because numbers are important in the HASH) on Friday, September 13^th. Recognition will be given to all who have a drink at EVERY pub. More info to follow on that grand event, which will be followed probably only hours later by our regularly scheduled HASH on the 14^th at 1600 hrs, location to be announced later. We mentioned the next Saturday HASH will be on August 31^st, but I don’t know where, so stay tuned. And finally asked everyone to be sure not to drink and drive. Pierce It told everyone to check themselves and each other and drive those home who may have consumed alcohol. The only taker was Just Mike, our bier biotch, who was happy to be safely escorted home by Pierce It and Just Tammy. He is leaving us in 2 weeks, so the Full Moon on Thursday will be his last HASH with us before he moves on to New Jersey somewhere. And Dick-4-Hire has been here TDY and will be leaving next week, as well. Thanks guys, and ON-ON

We finished our festivities with HASH religion, Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, and a follow-on Scooby-Doo version.

As everyone else left, a few of us helped clean up then drove the ‘staggering-man’ (Just Mike) home.

Thanks to everyone for cumming and supporting your local HASH. Do it like they do on the Discovery Channel (or like Catch Her does) and get some virgins, aka fresh meat to check us out. Have a great week and we’ll see you Thursday night.

NOTE: Future HASH Trashes will probably be much shorter, but this was my first. Please provide feedback.

Thanx,

Pierce It & I Will Cum

Well, it was quite a turnout for the home team this weekend.  While most hashers were trying to do something culturally sound
(Octoberfest), a few hardy (foolhardy) hashers convened locally for a wonderful, wandering, pure shiggy trail, courtesy of yours truly.

Following the normal pre-hash festivities, the pack of You're a Peein' Whore, Pimping Long Sucking and Its Not my Bag Baby sought the elusive Whiskey 3 flavored Hare for 1.5 tough miles and for over 22 minutes! Yes, my longest trail so far!! Too bad you all missed it, wankers!

At the conclusion of the trail, the On In was long and uneventful, of course. Whore and Pimping tried to 69 each other, but Bag Baby and myself wouldn't let that happen (our camera was broken), so we moved to the festivities: FRB was Whore, AEC was Pimping and Bag Baby was hashit. Plenty of small down downs were drunk, and the circle did  Religion Superman style, and departed for drunker pastures!

Too bad you all missed it!

Till later, On On!

Whiskey 3
R(esident) A(ssh-le)