Hash Trash: First off, Saturday was AWFUL. Over half of us were still hungover as balls from the night before. In fact, I know for a fact that a few of us puked in the hours leading up to Trail 1014. So we all gathered in a very familiar spot for a very unfamiliar yet fun trail (only compliment). We start off by not imbibing much before trail and then doing a very lackluster send off for our hares Harry Potter and the Golden Clit and her minion for the day Just Justin Hanenberg. We skipped our warm up song for the first time since I can remember and we were off! We departed at a snail’s pace and didn’t make much progress speed-wise. Of note: GayHo carried the not-quite-GodRod on this, his 99th Sembach trail.

Not much happened on trail. As I intimated earlier, only one person *an, Just Toast. What an asshole! We’d have our revenge, don’t you worry your pretty face. We were left an Adventure Quest which turned out to be a 1L bottle of Jagermeister. We moved onward without downing the entire thing. We were so lazy on Saturday. Too late for downs downs now. 😉

One thing was interesting on trail: the hares in all of their generosity left us an gentle inclined stretch of about 750 meters where every 50 meters was a BAN, salmon, BAR 1 or 2, and package boob checks. We all know each other a lot better after those 10 minutes of trail debauchery. Yes, you all missed out. Boobs are great. Packages slight less so, in my very arrogant opinion.

After returning from trail and having some zymatic refreshments, we got down to business with the namings. Yes, “namings” plural!!!

We, as a group, in an eerily orderly fashion, bestowed new nomenclature on two of our Justs. Just Justin is now and will forever be 4-Knuckles Deep….nah…just kidding…For Fuck’s Cakes. Last and defintely most least was Just Toast, the ‘unner from earlier. What a jerk! Just Toast, Shawn Marcelino ,will forever be known as [cue the music] Taaaaaaaaainted Love!!!

We had an on-after at Fiesta Mexicana where they fucked up a few peoples’ taco orders and somehow forgot to serve us margaritas but, meh, it was ok.

Cum to our trails, bitches!

Eat me,
Putin My Sister

Who: Harry Potter and the Golden Clit and Just Justin
What: Trail 1014, A Very Hashy Oktoberfest
When: 1400 Sembach Time, 20th of October
Where: Jahnstraße 26, 67686 Mackenbach, Deutschland
Parking will be infront of Fiesta Mexicana and we will be starting in a park shortly up the hill, arrows will mark where start is…but I highly doubt you’ll need it, since we’ll all be there in in a dirndl and leaderhosen wear!
Why: Because the end of fest season is upon us and we need to wear or fest gear one more time! (plus, you’ll be dressed for festivities going on afterwards!)

Don’t forget your Hash Cash and your Virgins!

On-After is Oktoberkerwe in Kaiserslautern!!!