Hash Trash: Please allow me to give you a brief (read: long-winded) synopsis of this Lego My Mom’s Saturday trail in this week’s addition of HASH TRASH. Don’t ast like you don’t want it. You know you do!
Let us commence this quick blurb by calling out the RA. Man Hoarder failed to accomplish her pre-trail task in every way, shape, & form. Can we please get this young “lady” a goat (live or dead) so as to avoid such tempestuous metoerological conditions in the future.
Let’s continue by giving a huge thumbs up to our bier meister for the day, Missionary Impossible. She very expertly packed just the right amount of zymatic refreshment with a mix of wine and Chu-Hi’s. She is hereby commended. I’m in no way biased in my praising of her. She’ll be complimented again later.
I should’ve mentioned earlier that we had a vast cornucopia of visitors from a plethora of places. We had visitors from Vicenza Derelicts (1), Frankfurt H3(5), Amsterdam H3 (2) and one all the way from Tallahassee H3, Mississippi. Tons of fun was had. I love being invaded by strangers. <
Sure visitors are nice but we also had a VIRGIN!!! Just Trevor was nice enough to lead the way like only a crayon-eater can do. He left his sponsor, Just Alexis, in the dust a wee bit but, be not dismayed, we kept him out of trouble as he steamed forward unabated. He paid for his racist crimes in circle but is not totally absolved, for he’ll be cursed with the FRB vest next trail.
For those of you who weren’t with us on Lego’s trail, it was awesome. I know I alluded to it earlier but he, Lego, did a bang-up job laying both a walker and runner trail (10lbs of flour!) and was even nice enough to leave us massive amounts of beverages along the way. It may have been a bit breezy (understatement) and a bit chilly at times but the trail was laid expertly by a phenomenal hare through a lovely area on the southwestern periphery of Rheinland-Pfalz. Great Gispert saw to it that we halfminds were in good hands.
During end circle there was a bevy of shenanigans but I’ll only mention one as I am attempting to keep my descriptions brief. Sembach finally abducted our favorite harriette from Vicenza Derelicts H3, Roofies Taste Like Almonds. She took our flour pounding like a champ. I didn’t see any photos of this particular ceremony but I’ll tell you that she was in rare form and we are all better people for haing seen it. I’m sure I’ll replay it in my head, in private, at least a few times in the near future. 😉
After trail, many of us headed over to a magical little bistro in Bechhofen where we dined on surprisingly amazing pizza and scrumptious doner. It was there that we celebrated Ausfahrt’s upcoming nascency celebration which took place in the 80’s. We were fortunate enough to be spoiled, by Missionary Impossible, with a carrot cake of epic superness. Some of you totally missed out. Fuck trail. Y’all missed carrot cake!!!
As always, our trail was filled with mirth, joy, laughter and then exodus. We gathered, we comiserated, we bonded and we buggered off in all directions. It is my wish that I am so privileged to gaze upon your beautiful (or ghastly) visage at the next trail which just so happens to be on Saturday, 16 March. Additionally, it’s the Anal Green Dress *un hosted by the lovely (albeit dwarfish) Nymphtendo. Find your green dress, figure out how you’re gonna cum to trail (and then get home), drag your backsliding buddy out the door and meet us at the circle. I’ll be happy to see you there. Many libation will be imbibed.
OnOn to Green Dress!
Ever so humbly,
Putin My Sister
Who: Lego My Mom
What: Sembach Saturday Trail #1034
When: Saturday, 9th of March, 14:00, 2pm
Where: Turn- und Sportverein Bechhofen, Am Sportplatz 1, 66894 Bechhofen, Rheinland-Pfalz, Germany
Bring: Bring a sense of humor and low expectations. I’m going to be scouting trail on the 10th of March. I would always recommend shiggy socks and a burning thirst for liquids. Leave your sense of humor at home and bring your compasses. This weekend, everyone’s a butterbar on their first land nav.
Trail should be easy to get lost on. A – A, unless it’s not. I’ll know on the 10th, when I finish scouting. If you get lost, turn around and go back to where you came from. If you see your mom, you’ve gone too far, but give her a hug anyway, you scamp.